Chapter 28 of my First book: Are You WHO and WHERE You want to be? If not, WHAT is Stopping You?

 In Book

CHAPTER 28: Are You WHO and WHERE You want to be? If not, WHAT is Stopping You?



I thought it only fitting to include a picture of a mirror here.
After all, it was by looking at myself in the mirror that
ended up being one of my greatest catalysts for change.
A change that quickly became a self-transformation.
I could have included a picture of that mirror here,
but that was my mirror.
And since this chapter is not about me, but about YOU,
I have included a generic picture of a mirror.
As a placeholder, until you find the time
and the right timing, to take a peek into YOURS!

“In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count.
It’s the life in your years.”- Abraham Lincoln

Take a look in the mirror and what do you see? How do you feel? Are YOU ready for a change?
Well that was my story.  What is yours? When you get up in the morning, and you look in the mirror, who is looking back at you? Is that you?  More importantly, is that WHO you want to be?

Forget the mirror for a second. How do you FEEL when you get up in the morning? Are you excited to start your day? Or, are you already looking forward to it to end? Or, are you somewhere in between? Does it make a difference what day of the week it is? A weekday versus a weekend day? A Monday versus a Friday? Does it make a difference if you are at work, rest or play?

Where are you in leading that life that you want to lead? Are you considering maybe making a bit of a change? Are you considering maybe making more of a change?

If you are considering making a change? Are you ready and willing to take one on? After all, as mentioned, you will want to be ready to, because change takes time and effort.  Change requires a desire to make it happen. Going kicking and screaming is not the way to go.

Want to make a change. Then what are you waiting for? Just do it! Just start it!
In my blogs, I like to end off with a challenge to my readers, so I have decided to carry that tradition forward with my book. So here is my challenge to you. By you, I mean YOU. The person that you see in your mirror.  The person whose feelings you feel.  “Insert your name here”. Yes, YOU! Are you ready for a change? A big one? A small one? Or, one in-between?

Well, what I have found is that they all start in the same way. One step at a time. One next step at a time. So here is my challenge to you.

  • Choose one change that you would like (i.e. want) to make in your life.
  • Think of the outcome that you would like to achieve with that change
  • Think of how you will feel once you have made the change
  • Now, think of the next step in making that change happen
  • Not the next steps, THE next step
  • Then, just do it. Just start it. Just try it out. What have you to lose?

Repeat the above as often as required. The more often, the merrier, but it all starts with just that first step forward. That first step forward in a direction that you want to take.

Oh! and bonus points to you if you can make it EASYer on yourself, and of course, having fun while doing it. You might even want to add another step to the process. Maybe add another question. i.e. “What is the best way to make this NEXT step EASYer on myself?”.

Whether your journey of change is a short one, or a longer one. Whatever path you follow. Remember this. It does not have to be painful. There will likely be some tough times, but they need not be the rule, but the exception. It can be fun the majority of the time. A lot of fun. What better way to make a change. I know. I know because I did it. I made the change and I had fun while doing it and I plan on continuing to do so, as I continue my life journey, in my case, the second half of my life journey.

Just do it. Or, just do the opposite. Just Pull a Costanza!
If the only constant in life is change, then at some point in your life, you really don’t have much of a choice but to change.  That could involve making a change for the better or for the worse. Yes, you heard me right. If you would like to live a more joyful and fulfilling life or, if you would like to live a more miserable life, the process is the same.

When people ask me what I do in life. I often respond by informing them that I “help people make positive changes in their lives”. I could just as easily “help people make negative changes in their lives”, same process, but I have yet to get any requests for help on the becoming more miserable front. I guess people are doing a good enough job on that front by themselves.

The change process is the same, but my hypothesis is that, the way we go about inspiring ourselves to make changes can differ. The way we go about learning things about making change can differ. After all, we are all different.  Just as some people learn more from a horror story (I count myself among them) than from a success story, some people appear to be more receptive to ideas when they are communicated in a negative, rather than a positive way. Let’s use one of my favorite books as an example.

That book is called “How To Be Miserable” by Randy J. Patterson PHD. So, if there are people out there looking for help on “how to lead a more miserable life” you might want to add this one to your reading list. It contains 40 strategies that, as the author puts it, “You already use”. Talk about making change EASYer on yourself, you already likely use some of those strategies already. You don’t even have to start something from scratch. How cool is that! Or, uncool in this case, since the end-state is being more miserable.

Well, I read it, and I found that the author did a great job of summarizing a lot of the change ideas that I was reading about in all of my other books (and I read a lot of them!). All of my other self-help books, self-help of the positive kind, the books that are sharing ideas of how to lead a happier, more joyful, more fulfilling, more “Insert your life goal here” life. It was as if his 40 strategies covered off all those ideas, except that, all of his ideas were meant to help us lead more miserable versus more positive lives. What’s with that? If I want to make a positive change in my life, I have to read a hundred books but if I want to make a negative change, I only have to read one. What’s with that?

Well, then I got to thinking. What if I picked one strategy that resonated with me. In my case, something that I wanted to do less of rather than more of, since I was now trying to lead a more fulfilling and less miserable life. But instead of following that strategy, as laid out in the book, I would pull a “Costanza”, and just do the opposite. I would “just do it” but I would “just do the opposite”. Just doing the opposite had served me well before so what was stopping me from not leverage that approach again? Talk about a great way to continue to make more positive changes in my life, not to mention, maintaining the ones that I had already made. I think that I will give that a try. Here is a good one, “Lesson 21. Become an Island unto Yourself”. I have done that one before, so it should be a lot EASYer to do the opposite now.

And by the way, I don’t think that Randy will have any issues with me or you doing the opposite of any of the 40 strategies that he is sharing with us, since he himself suggests, just such an approach in his book. The opposite, for those who are looking for the opposite outcome, whatever the opposite of miserable might be for them.


So, What did I learn?
How did I make change EASYer on myself 😊 (or not ☹)


Enough about me, what about you? I have shared a whole lot of ideas in this book in the hopes that some of them will help you to make your journey of change EASYer on yourself. Given that change is a constant, I am constantly on the lookout for more. More to share with others and to try out on myself. So, to that end, please feel free to share any and all that have made your journey of change EASYer on yourself.

You can share them via my website
or, by email at if you prefer a more anonymous approach.

What did you do?
How did you do it?
And, most importantly, what made it EASYer on you?

So, here is wishing you well on your life journey.
Enjoy YOUR ride!

Well, that’s all folks!




That was all about me. What about YOU?What are you doing to make your journey of change EASYer on YOU😊 (or not ☹)


So! What about YOU?

Are you ready to make a change?

If so, here is to wishing you well, along the newer path, of your newer life journey!



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