Chapter 26 of my First book: The Power of THREE. Sharing my top 3 lessons learned. Helping YOU go Farther and Faster
CHAPTER 26:The Power of THREE. Sharing my top 3 lessons learned. Helping YOU go Farther and Faster
DRAFT
When people ask me about change and change management,
I usually share this cartoon. If a picture is worth a thousand words.
This cartoon, for me, is worth several thousand, at least.
“You’ve only got three choices in life: Give up, give in, or give it all you’ve got” – Unknown
“Don’t let someone who gave up their dreams talk you out of yours” – Unknown
And, I might add, that someone includes YOU, Yourself, and Your inner critic…
Making change as easy as 1-2-3. O.k. Maybe not easy, but EASYer. My top 3 take-aways
Well, I have already shared my overarching strategy of making change EASYer by making it EASYer on oneself. Making the change fun, if possible, also does not seem to hurt. I will also share my TOP 10 List of change enablers with you in the next chapter. But first, here are my Top 3 lessons learned in making change EASYer on oneself a.k.a. the Power of THREE.
#1. It Starts and ends with YOU. It is your choice to move forward or not. You are the enabler
In the end, YOU, means YOU. The buck stops with YOU. I did it. I made the change. I had a lot of help and support from others, a lot of others, including my life coach and relationship counselor and my family and friends. I had help from too many others to thank them all in this book. It would take another book. But, you know who you are! You were all such an incredible amount of support in helping me make all these changes in my life. You have had such a positive impact on my life. I will be forever grateful. Hopefully, I will have the chance to pay it back and pay it forward. THANK YOU!
But, although you were all very helpful and supportive, and although I am very appreciative of your help and support, in the end, I did it. The change enabler was ME, MYSELF and I. I was the one who got up every morning and did it. When push came to shove, I was the one who got pushed and the one who got shoved. When I fell down, I pulled myself up. When I failed, I kept going. When I got stuck, I got unstuck, I am not sure how I did it sometimes, but I did. When there was something to learn, I learned it and then I applied it. When there was something to try out to see if it was a fit for me, I was the one who tried it on for it. Etc. Etc. Etc.
I did not have to do any of those things, but in the end, it was up to me to do them. Not my coach, not my boss, not my relationship counselor, not my friends, not my family, not my soulmate, Etc. Etc. Etc. No, it was not up to them to do all the things that I ended up doing, it was up to me. The buck stops and stopped with me.
And, if the buck stops with ME when it comes to making change in my life, then that means that the buck stops with YOU when it comes time to making change in YOUR life. If YOU want to undertake a change in your life, don’t forget that you will be the one making it. When push comes to shove and things get tough, well, that is often when the tough get going, and that person who will need to get tough to get going, will be you. After all, no one can do it, but YOU.
And when push comes to shove, what I discovered is that, YOU GOTTA WANT IT. When push comes to shove, you gotta REALLY want it. I wanted to change, and that is when I finally started to. In hindsight, it was that straightforward. I was no longer hoping to change. I no longer felt a need to change. I no longer felt a pressure to change. I wanted to change.
Whether the motivator for the change is to end something painful or to start something joyful, it starts with wanting to do it. To really want to do it. If you don’t want to do it, it won’t take you long to come up with an excuse not to.
I had tried to make changes before, especially when it came to living a healthy lifestyle. I felt the need, but I did not truly want to do it, I was pushing myself to do it, and, when push came to shove, I was not able to hang in there. Despite my best intentions, the new treadmill would become the dusty treadmill. One of many pieces of exercise equipment gathering dust in my house until the next garage sale came around.
Oh well, in hindsight, I am glad that I did not sell the treadmill. It has been serving me well over the past year as part of my early morning wake up routine. I actually took a walk on it earlier this morning. I enjoy the exercise and the reading I get done while on it. I find it a great way to start my day, so that is how I often start my day, on my treadmill, not because I have to, but because I want to.
#2 It takes time and effort. One step at a time. just start. Just give it a try, but keep at it. It takes time!
Looking to make an impactful change in your life? What I have found is that, if and when, you decide to go for it (a.k.a. you actually decide to start) it takes time. One step at a time. One Life Quadrant at a time. One day at a time, and sometimes, when the going is really rough, one minute at a time.
There is no magic 6 week “Change Your Life” workshop or course out there, despite what people might tell you. Just starting is how you start your journey. It is that easy! Keeping at it in order to finish your journey, that is where it gets a little tougher, and much longer. That is where the making it EASYer on oneself really comes into play. Yes, enjoying the ride makes it so much EASYer.
When I look back to the beginnings of my transformation, the thing that I find the most surprising is, just how much I had changed, before I really noticed that I had changed. When I finally decided to change, I made it so easy on myself to change that I was actually having so much fun and enjoying myself so much that I did not realize how much I was changing.
I had not even set out to do many of the things that I ended up doing. I had no specific weight loss goals but before you knew it, my pants were falling off, and I was investing in a new wardrobe. Before you knew it, I was not only eating healthy but enjoying it, and next thing I knew, the foods in my fridge and cupboards had completely changed, and changed to the healthier, I might add.
Some people make it so hard on themselves to change from the get-go, that they are not able to get far at all. Some people make it so hard on themselves that they don’t even want to start, and so, they don’t. But here I was, doing my best to make it EASYEr on myself and have fun, and it seems to have worked, at least for me it has. I will leave the making it HARDer on oneself approach to the others thank you very much!
And good thing that I did decide to take the make it EASYer on myself approach, because, as it turned out, my transformation was a long one. It was long and it was a lot of work. So, good thing that I made it EASYer on myself.
Change implies that something will become different and if there is no movement, how can something become different? How can we change something if nothing happens, if there is no action or movement? How can someone change if they do nothing? So, I just kept moving. I just kept changing. I just kept persevering, I just kept learning, learning by failing and learning by succeeding, in my case for close to 7 years, I just kept at it.
And, despite my attempts to make everything EASYER on myself, there were times, many such times, that it got so tough that the only thing that I could do was to take one step at a time. Even just one step was hard on those occasions. There were times when my motivators, my dreams, my passion, etc. were not enough to keep me going. It was as if they would disappear for a bit. In those times, I just had to keep at it, and that meant, to just keep moving. One step at a time.
#3 Don’t go it alone.
Trying to go it alone. Trying to live one’s life in isolation. Trying to make change all by oneself. Been there, done that, and it does not work, at least, not for long. I have a saying taped to the wall in my office. It states that “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together”. A bit of a reminder to myself, that isolating ONEself, especially when things are not going well, is not exactly a best practice in making change EASYer on oneself.
Making a change in your life implies doing something differently. So, does it not make sense to expand your lens on life by connecting with others. Does it not make sense to gain a better understanding of yourself by seeing yourself through the lenses of others? Remember my story of how I had become someone that I was not. It was someone else who pointed that out to me. I had my blinders on. I was in full steam ahead mode. I was stopping for nothing and no one. Unfortunately, I was not heading in the right direction. Fortunately, someone else had the courage to call me on it, and I had the good sense to stop and listen to them.
And when you fall, and you will, of that I am sure, is it not comforting to have someone there to help pick you up, if not actually picking you up, at least helping you gain, or regain, the energy for you to pick yourself up, again? But don’t forget, when it comes to choosing those people who will play a big part in your life, that “misery likes company”, so choose wisely.
And what about those times when you are moving so fast that you don’t even notice, that maybe, just maybe, it is time to take a bit of a break and recharge. If you are not self-aware, and despite our best attempts, sometimes we are not, is it not comforting to know that someone else is there? Someone who is present, and is not shy (a.k.a. they are courageous and caring enough) to help you in becoming more self-aware, in this case, more self-aware of yourself.
And while we are on the topic of not forgetting, don’t forget what I had mentioned earlier on that I had learned in my coaching school, my LIFE coaching school. “People grow from connection. Connection is the wellspring of creativity. Collaboration is the conduit for enhancing people’s strengths.” Wow! Connecting with others enhances our ability to play to our strengths. How cool is that! What a great idea! You would have thought that my IDEATION strength would have picked up on that one earlier on. Oh well, better late than never. In this case, just in time for the next phase of my life journey, the second half of my life!
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So, What did I learn?
How did I make change EASYer on myself 😊 (or not ☹)
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Honour your state of being. Mine is having fun. So, by finding ways to have fun, while I was moving forward and making changes, made making those changes so much EASYer on myself. I can’t tell you how much EASYer it is to make and maintain a change when you are looking forward to doing the activities that it takes to do so. 😊
Oh! and don’t forget to take care of yourself. Grab the oxygen mask if and when it comes down. Remember, that change takes time. Make it EASYer on yourself by taking care of yourself. And by taking care of yourself, a little bit of self-compassion and self-love goes a long way. And a lot of self-compassion and self-love goes and gets you even farther.
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That was all about me. What about YOU?What are you doing to make your journey of change EASYer on YOU? 😊 (or not ☹)
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Want to make a change? and make it stick?
Who is stopping you?
Hopefully not you!
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